Confession of a Woman

 

Red, green, yellow, and black…… I was born in colors. I sit markedly upright with my arms folded. Only my gaze was fixed on the observer and seemed to welcome them to this silent communication. Since the brightly lit face was practically framed with various much darker elements, the observer's attraction to my face was brought to even greater extent. My folded hands formed the front corner of the pyramid. My breast, neck and face glowed in the same light that models my hands. The light gave the variety of living surfaces an underlying geometry of spheres and circles. I owned black and deep eyes, and I was smiling.

The moment I was able to see the world, I can not move my eyes from the man who created me. There was only concentration on his face. Sometimes, I saw a glance of affectionateness flashing through his eyes. I felt delighted that I was born with both passion and love. It was my honor that I was created with a sincere heart. The day when I was finished, hope and expectation for future filled with my heart. I could not wait to travel around this lovely world. However, thing did not always come out as planned.

After traveling with the artist for several years, due to his financial difficulties, he sold me to a king of France. I was depressed to learn of this news, for I never thought of leaving the man who painted me my life. Even though my heart was broken, I still had no choice to make over his decision. After all, I was merely a painting. Handing on the wall of hall in palace, I was admired by king’s guests. They admired that I had retained some of my old elegance, yet I never regarded myself as what they thought. Not until 1805 was I sent to Louvre by Napoleon. Louvre was a museum which was not only large but also magnificent. I had never seen such a glorious building before. It was even better than France king’s palace. After being placed at a noticeable location, I was visited by people all over the world everyday. In daytime, there was no moment when I could be alone. And it seemed that I was a super celebrity of painting which should be visited at least once during a person’s lifetime, even though I had never realized the reason why I was so famous. I thought that I was going to start a totally steady-going life in this museum ever after. Unfortunately, my adventures did not end actually.

It was an obscure night, and there was no moon that day. An employee who worked in museum sneaked into the room and stood before me. I was afraid because I felt that there was something unfortunate going to happen. He took a piece of cloth to cover me and then quietly moved me from where I was hung. At the moment, I knew he was trying to steal me out of Louvre. I neither wanted to leave nor had any preparation. My face went white, and I shouted and screamed. However, no matter how I resisted, every effort was in vein. Again, I was only a painting, and I could not decide my fate. After that, I could not remember how many vagrant years I had, it was a nightmare for me to recall. At least, I did come back to where I was in Louvre. They made me a personal small glass room for fear that the same tragedy would repeat. Finally, the peaceful and steady life I had waited seemed to come, although the injury to my heart and hope were completely out of recovery.

After passing on to different places and given to different people too many times, I was tired of changing. All I wanted to do was to peacefully enjoy my entire life, yet this hope came so late. Mona Lisa is my name, and that is how people call me. But I know my name is Lisa Gherardini, and I was just a normal woman. If I had choices, I wanted to live a steady life instead of a wandering one. That is because of Da Vinci, I was not merely a woman passing by time, but had become unfading and eternal. However, belonging to nobody did not equal to forever freedom. Looking back to the past life I experienced, I had lost dreams and hope to reality. Being tired of misery, desolation, and waiting, I did not have any homeland, but only belonged to myself.

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國立中央大學英美語文學系系友會

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